MY UNCLE WORKS AT NINTENDO AND SAYS THIS GAME IS THE BEST

GRANT FORE - STILL GOT ISSUES

[TRACK: SUGAR BOOGIE 0:00]

"STILL GOT ISSUES? I'VE NEVER HEARD OF THIS GAME"

BUT YOU DON'T LISTEN TO YOUR BROTHER, HE'S A STUPID WEAK BABY. THIS GAME EVEN PUT IT'S -OWN- STICKER OVER THE PARENTAL ADVISORY. SICK.

YOU BOOT UP THE GAME, EVEN THOUGH YOU'VE NEVER HEARD OF GRANT FORE YOU'RE SURE IT'S GOING TO BE A RAGER, HE MUST BE SOME SORT OF MASKED SUPERHERO

BEFORE YOU EVEN PRESS START, INSANELY MENACING AUDIO GOBLINS BEGIN MARCHING AND MOBBING OUT OF THE SPEAKERS...WAIT, THE SPEAKERS? THE SOUNDS SEEM TO ACTUALLY BE BLASTING FROM EVERYWHERE? AND....


***WAIT.... HOW IS THE NINTENDO MAKING SUCH BLOWN OUT BOOPS IF IT ISNT EVEN PLUGGED IN!?


“MY HOUSE, YEA BITCH THIS IS MY HOUSE”


THE NINTENDO GROWS 8 FEET IN RADIUS WHILE PLAYING GRADIUS INSPIRED MURDER MUSIC, RAPS EMIT FROM ITS’ FLAPPY MAW-

[:55]

“FUCK THE POLICE AND ALL THEIR HOMIES

AND ALL THEIR SUPPORTERS CAN FUCKIN BLOW ME

FUCK KILL TONY”

OH MAN WE ARE GOING TO BE SO GROUNDED IF MOM FINDS OUT ABOUT THIS….


[TRACK: BRING THE HARLEM SHAKE BACK 0:00]

SUDDENLY EVERYTHING SMOOTHES OUT. LAFFY TAFFY ON HOT ASPHALT AS GRANT'S FLUTES FLUTTER US TO THE SECRET LEVEL BEHIND THE WATER FALL WHERE HE FLOWS ON -

[1:15]

“MY CHROME IT STAY TUCKED - A DESERT EAGLE
PULL IT OUT AND GET TO PAINTING LIKE IT’S AN EASLE”

BASSLINES EMIT FROM A SLOW ROLLING PSYCHEDELIC CADILLAC. THROUGH THE TINTED WINDOW AN AFRO’D SILHOUETTE - GRANT FORE !?!?!?


[TRACK: EVILLE :52]

"UPPERCUT N*GGAS I BE YELLIN OUT TIGER

BLOODY ROAR KILLERS MIXED WITH THE STREET FIGHTER

RIVAL SCHOOLS I PUNK FOOLS WITH MY LIGHTER"



HUH!? A BOSS BATTLE?!

HIGH PITCHED MACHINERY SCREAMS OVER A BROKEN FURNACE OF A BEAT - THRASHING CYMBALS CRASH, RADIOSHACK KEYBOARDS HISS WITH DISSONANCE.

GRANT'S IN THE LUCHA MASK FLASHING RED. SIREN SCREAMS ABOUT THE EVILLES, THE LOCKED IN FLOW AND FRANTIC MACHINERY CRESCENDO TO A HEADBANGING MOMENT AROUND [2:30] HELL YEAH THIS RIPS.

[TRACK: CAN'T HELP IT 0:00]

DEFINITE BONUS LEVEL VIBES ULTIMATE SAMPLE CHOP WORK FROM THE GOD. BASSLINE GOING DEAF DUMB AND DUMBER.

"GOING GA GA IN THE FACE I WILL POKE HER"

KINDA CRAZY TO SAY THAT BUT YOU GOTTA JUST LET DUDES DO THEIR THING ON THE HONEY POT TRACKS.


SAMSRAPS IS HERE NOW

[1:30]

"MY FAVORITE PART OF LOVE IS THE ROUTINE

1 2 3 PUSH THE COFFEE TABLE BACK STACK PLATES AND I CLEAN THE MESS LEFT FROM BREAKFAST..."


BRUH IM IN TEARS. THIS TRACK GIVES ME SO MUCH ENERGY. TYPE OF TRACK PEOPLE JUST KNOW EVERY WORD TO. GOOD LOOKS SAMS.


LOWKEA IS HERE NOW

[2:50]

LOWKEA HYPERVENTILATING ON THE TRACK, KNOWN FOR THE RARE TACTIC OF SCARING THE HOES =-TOWARDS-= HIM. KINDA REMINDS ME OF AN ABSOLUTELY WEAPON ON A TRUMPET. REALLY HONKED HIS DOODLE ON THIS ONE IN A DIFFICULT SPOT TO BE NUMERO TRIO IN THE THREE PIECE.



THE BEAT RIDES ON AND THE CREDITS ROLL.......


OVERALL RATING:

GREAT SINGLE PLAYER STORYLINE, BUT ALSO A TOTAL BLAST WITH UP TO THREE EXTRA PLAYERS.

PRESS START TO PLAY STILL GOT ISSUES BY GRANT FORE